be weary, men

jaaaarome 07: if you're going to do it, do it right
jaaaarome 07: speaking of which, i saw an OJ jersey today
mtchbx79: really?
mtchbx79: someone wearing one around?
jaaaarome 07: yeah
jaaaarome 07: bills 32
mtchbx79: that's class
jaaaarome 07: it's baltimore!!!
mtchbx79: too bad not a 49ers "throwback"
jaaaarome 07: you know he just bought it too
jaaaarome 07: that wasn't available awhile back
mtchbx79: really a shame
mtchbx79: now if only i could get my ron mexico jersey
jaaaarome 07: do you want a "save the date" card?
jaaaarome 07: wait a sec
jaaaarome 07: kick me in the nuts
jaaaarome 07: hard
mtchbx79: save the date? you deserve a bitch slap
jaaaarome 07: did i just change an OJ/ron mexico conversation to wedding minutiae?
jaaaarome 07: ok, well what's done is done
jaaaarome 07: yes/no? circle one
mtchbx79: there is no saving you anymore
mtchbx79: 2nd weekend of sept?
jaaaarome 07: 9/9
mtchbx79: good enough.
jaaaarome 07: so no?
mtchbx79: i'll prob just lose the card
jaaaarome 07: woohoo, just cut 39 cents out of the budget!


It's about time I turned in my gun and my badge. You know...danger to self or others.

veteran affairs

Well for those who don't know, or who care, I'm doing neurology consults this month at the VA hospital. I happen to be working with a guy named Brian who is Korean. This exchange occurred yesterday.

B: You have a brother? How old is he?
J: 18 months younger than me.
B: Does he try to to take over your birth right of inheriting the head of the family?

*pause*

J: Uh...let's just chalk this one up to cultural differences, okay, Brian?


I can't really be the only one that has these weird things happening to them all the time, right?
Similarly, I had a patient last week that decided to ask me to explain why his diabetes makes him impotent.

With his wife in the room.

All the while asking her for clarification of specifics.

I went through all the pathophysiology of it and how it relates to other more critical aspects of the disease, and emphasized how if its something important to him, we could start talking more about his pharmacologic options. He laughed, said he was already on two of them, and finished with, "but it sure was fun to make you go through all that".
J: Thanks for messing with me. It's friday. You're the last patient I have this week. And you're messing with me. You know I'm gonna go home and get a "How was your day?" and what will I say? I'll have to talk about you. Awesome.

Then I called him a babykiller and kicked him out of the office...just kidding :).

And today...
J: And have you experienced any chest pain recently?
Patient (P): Only when I'm having sex.
J: (weary look)
P: Just kidding with you, doc. But that reminds me of a joke.
J: (weary look)
P: A 75 year old man goes to church and enters the confessional.
-"Father, last night I met a 25 year old woman and had sex with her six times throughout the night".
-"And you're here repenting. Very good of you. Say 12 'Our Fathers' and 'Hail Marys'."
-"Uh, actually, I'm just trying to tell everyone I can!"
J: (fake laugh) You seem fine. I'll be right back. (jams pen directly into eyeball and twists)

It could be worse. If I was a chick, they'd be hitting on me. That's just creepy.

Of course it was the 90s when "Don't ask. Don't tell" went into place. 20 more years and med students are really going to be getting it from both sides.


(Double entendres make for good endings)